


Safety and Trust

by CakeBeDamned



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Abundant Consent, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Canon Ace Character, Established Relationship, First Time, Fluff, M/M, Trans Character, Trans Jon, ace author, healthy relationship, sexual touching, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-24 18:07:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21342469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CakeBeDamned/pseuds/CakeBeDamned
Summary: Jon asks Martin for help learning his own body, something he's never been comfortable enough to do himself, and never trusted someone else to help with. Until now.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Comments: 10
Kudos: 254





	Safety and Trust

“Are you sure about this?” Martin searched Jon’s face, and Jon had to fight the instinct to look away. 

“Yes.” His voice was firmer than he felt, but he wouldn’t have told Martin he was ok with this if it wasn’t true. “I realize it’s not the most...you’re doing me a favor.”

Martin took a breath. “Ok, just...please tell me if you want me to stop.”

Jon nodded, his mouth a bit dry, and Martin leaned forward and kissed him. Jon returned the kiss a bit stiffly, and Martin hesitated again.

“You’re really sure…?”

“Yes!” Jon snapped at him a bit that time, and closed his eyes, taking a shaky breath. “Sorry. I just...this is scary for me.” He took another breath. “But...I trust you?”

He felt Martin’s hand on his hair, stroking it back from his face. “Ok.” The man paused again. “Is there...is there anything you don’t want me to do? Or--how do you want to do this?”

Jon swallowed. “I’d appreciate it if you don’t say ‘we can go as slow as you want.’ That doesn’t--I’ve heard that one before, and it sort of seems to rule out stopping entirely.”

“That makes sense.” Martin kissed his forehead. “If I do anything you want me to stop, just tell me. Anything else?”

Jon shivered slightly, and considered. “Can we...I’d prefer to stand up, if that’s ok? It’s not--laying down is just...a lot.”

Martin nodded. “Yeah, of course that’s ok. And if you want to move or anything, just let me know.” He kissed Jon again, and this time he kissed him deeper. Something very much like fear jangled in Jon’s chest, but it wasn’t overwhelming, and he couldn’t tell if it was all trepidation, or if some excitement had worked its way in there too. He let Martin help him up, and let the man move him towards the wall. “Is it ok if I get you undressed?” Martin asked, and, heart in his throat, Jon nodded.

To his relief, Martin didn’t start with his pants. He’d moved around so he was behind Jon, and Jon didn’t know why exactly, but it was somehow comforting, maybe because he wasn’t confronted with Martin’s concerned gaze. 

The man helped him pull off his jumper, and then started in on the buttons down his shirt. He didn’t rush, and his hands were steady, and Jon leaned back against him, letting Martin’s warmth comfort him. This was Martin, and he knew he was safe with him. Martin, who slept next to him every night, letting Jon sleep with his head tucked under his chin, and hadn’t even broached the subject of sex until Jon had brought it up. Martin, who had been the first person Jon had allowed into his personal space since Georgie. Jon didn’t feel this safe with anyone else, but he trusted Martin with his life, and he knew he could trust him with his body, too.

Martin helped him shrug off the shirt, and turned Jon’s face back towards him, giving him another kiss.

“Ok so far?”

Jon let out a small laugh, but the knots in his stomach had eased slightly. “We haven’t gotten to the hard part, yet.”

“No.” Martin agreed. “But it’s worth checking in. This could be it, if you wanted.”

Relief flooded Jon’s chest, like the option of stopping hadn’t quite registered until Martin had put it like that. Of course it had, he knew Martin would stop on a dime if he asked, but the comfort of being asked if he wanted to stop, so early on…

He was the one who kissed Martin, this time. “We can keep going.” He said softly. The fear was back, jangling in his chest, and he gave another little laugh, more nervous this time. “My therapist--it doesn’t matter--we don’t have to stop until I get to...a seven, or whatever. Out of ten, of me being...anxious.”

Martin was back to stroking his hair. “Jon, you know you don’t have to hold yourself to some...standard, right? This isn’t--it’s not something you have to get over, it’s ok if you’re not ok with it. And I don’t want to scare you.”

“I know.” Jon took a breath. “It’s--I’m not trying to get over being ace, I just want to be more...comfortable. With myself. It’s not a part of myself I’m...familiar with, and I don’t like being...afraid of it. And--if you’re not comfortable with this--I know I’m asking a lot—”

“Jon, it’s ok.” Martin kissed the back of his neck. “Do you want me to keep going, then?”

Jon nodded. “Yeah.”

Martin kissed his hair this time, and his hands moved carefully down to Jon’s waist, then lower. Jon focused on the basics as Martin’s hands worked. Belt, button, fly. He let Martin help him out of the jeans, and after another check-in that he was doing ok, he let the man help him out of his boxers.

Standing naked in front of Martin was, well...new. Jon was glad the man was behind him, his presence reassuring as always rather than a pair of eyes on him. He shrank back against the man for comfort, and Martin wrapped his arms around him, murmuring reassurances in his ear.

“I won’t hurt you, Jon. Just let me know if you want me to stop.”

Slowly, one of Martin’s hands began to move. It was warm on Jon’s chest, and Jon had always been mercifully small-chested, but Martin let his thumb stroke over one of Jon’s nipples a few times before letting his hand move on. It trailed down Jon’s stomach, and Martin’s voice was warm in his ear when he spoke again.

“I’m gonna need you to spread your legs a little, ok? Are you ok with that?”

Jon nodded jerkily, and spread his legs just enough for Martin’s hand, trying not to flinch when Martin slipped his hand further down.

“It’s ok, Jon.” Martin let his hand cup over Jon’s folds, but he didn’t press down, he simply held still there until Jon slowly began to relax. “Let me know what you want me to do next, ok? We can be done, if you want.”

Jon let out a shaky laugh as Martin still didn’t move. “Th-this isn’t so bad.”

Martin kissed his hair again. “See? I told you, I won’t hurt you.”

Jon nodded again, and took a deep breath. “I want to see--if...if you can go inside me?”

“Ok. Do you want me to try to make it...good? Or do you just want me to get it over with?”

Jon swallowed. “Whichever you think would be easiest?”

“Ok.” Martin took a deep breath. “I’m gonna move, ok? I’m not gonna--I’m not gonna try to go in right away, but I’ll let you know when.”

Jon nodded, not trusting his voice, and Martin began to touch him for real.

It was good, in a...weird way. Jon felt his hips rocking ever so slightly to meet the pressing of Martin’s hand. The man wasn’t inside him, was showing no signs of moving that direction, but he rolled his hand against Jon in a way that made a flush rise to Jon’s cheeks, murmuring soft praise in his ear the whole while.

“I’m proud of you, Jon, you’re doing so good. You’re being really, really brave.” Martin found his clit, and John whimpered, the first sound he’d let out that hadn’t been a word, but Martin just shushed him softly. “It’s ok.” He began to rub gently, and Jon’s head fell forward, until his forehead was pressed against the wall, his hips moving more now as Martin pleasured him with his fingers. “Is that good?”

“Y-yes—” Jon bit off the word, rocked by unfamiliar sensation, and, encouraged, Martin began to work him harder. “Martin—mn!”

Martin shushed him again, but he sounded pleased. “Do you want me to stop?”

“N-no…”

“Are you sure?” Martin’s hand stilled for a moment, and Jon took the opportunity to take a full breath.

“Yes. You can--you can keep doing that.”

“Ok.” Martin began to move again, and Jon’s breath juddered in his chest. He was so invested in what Martin was doing to him that he barely noticed the man’s other hand moving until it joined the first between his legs. “Are you ready? I’m not gonna do much.”

Jon swallowed hard, but Martin was still touching him, and— “Yes. Y--mm!”

Martin was gentle, but he had slipped inside Jon between one syllable and the next. It felt like a lot, but Jon was sure it wasn’t, and the man wasn’t moving. It took Jon a second to realize Martin was saying something.

“Jon? Are you ok?”

Jon took a shaky breath, and took stock of himself. Sensation--Martin was making him feel good, and even if the sensation inside him wasn’t good, it wasn’t what Jon would call bad, either. It wasn’t painful--maybe for a second it had been, just at the very start, but now that Martin was there, it was just—-odd. Like someone sticking a finger in your mouth, only, if your mouth was a little bit tight around it. Or like having something put down your throat, if gag reflex wasn’t a thing. Weird, but...ok. Especially since Martin was staying still.

“Yeah.” Jon’s voice sounded a little odd to his own ears too. “I think...I think that’s enough. But we can...stay like this, for a minute?”

“Ok. God, Jon, you did so well.” Martin kissed the back of his neck again, where Jon could feel now that his hair had started to get sweaty. “Do you want me to keep making you feel good, or just stay still all the way?”

“You can--you can keep--with what you were doing, just don’t move the other hand.” Jon managed.

“Ok.” Martin stroked his clit again before going back to work on it. The finger--it couldn’t have been more than that— inside Jon stayed perfectly still, but slowly Jon began to move on it as his hips once again started to bob. It didn’t make as much of a difference as he expected, and anyway, whatever Martin was doing with his other hand—

Jon realized his breath had started to come faster, and Martin’s voice in his ear was praising him once more. Another whimper burst from Jon, and Martin shifted his hand without moving it inside him, the palm of his one hand pressing and supplementing the work of his other hand’s fingers on Jon’s clit.

“Martin—!” Jon’s hips were moving with purpose now, even if he didn’t know exactly what that purpose was. He had an idea of what was happening, but it was new. Martin’s voice was by turns encouraging and comforting, and Jon peaked with a rush of breath that sounded almost like a silent sob, panting as he rode out the diminishing waves of pleasure on Martin’s hands.

When Martin pulled out of him, it felt stranger than it had when he’d gone in, but then he was out, and it had been...fine.

“Jon, you did so well.” Martin turned him around, the pride evident in his voice, and Jon was strangely tired, didn’t mind his nakedness so much now, even when faced with Martin being fully clothed. The man kissed him on the forehead, then on the lips, and Jon was still trying to catch his breath when Martin led him to the bed.

“I’m not…” Jon started to protest, but trailed off when he realized that actually, sleep sounded very nice right now. Martin helped him under the covers and climbed in with him, letting Jon burrow against his chest and holding him tight.

“Was that ok?” Martin asked, once Jon was settled. He kissed Jon’s hair again, and Jon huffed a tiny laugh against his chest.

“Yes, Martin.” He looked up, and kissed Martin carefully on the lips. “Thank you.” He put as much meaning as he could behind the two words.

Martin nodded, looking pleased, and when Jon dozed off, it was with Martin rubbing his back in slow, comforting circles.


End file.
